Nice Guy of the Week.

I'd like to give props to Joel McHale, Host of E!'s "The Soup". Not only does he actually make me laugh out loud when I'm by myself (rare) but he's also a really nice, down to earth guy. Refreshing.
Hope you all had a great Memorial Day Weekend as well... Here's to finally getting tan (or at least still working on it).

The Book Club

And another friend's thoughts.

I know, it doesn't end.

I was cleaning up my apartment because the guy I'm seeing was coming over and I realized I had to stash away half my reading materials. I've got "He's Just Not That Into You", "Why Men Love Bitches", and "The Rules" all sitting next to each other. I thought I was done but then I realized that I had a whole other genre of books that my dad gave me while I was growing up like "Conversationaly Speaking - How To Talk to People" and "10 Stupid Mistakes Women Make That Mess Up Their Lives".

Wax Off

Just some happy Friday thoughts. God, I love my friends.

Moose Girl: I want to get a bikini wax. They have different kinds and I want a good one.
Banana Girl: You should totally get one, you'll have much better sex.
Moose Girl:If I have ANY sex that would be nice.
Moose Girl: If I meet someone worth it.
Banana Girl: Yeah, Lechaim.
Moose Girl: This is an exclusive membership!
Banana Girl: Right? You're like a racist country club. "No ass-holes allowed".

Do I Make Ya Proud?

A big congratulations to Taylor Hicks, the new American Idol.
Although my sources reveal that Mr. Nice guy has let the fame go to his head rather quickly, I'm willing to give him another shot. Innocent until proven guilty I say. Evidence A: I may have been singing along to "Do I Make You Proud?". Just Saying. Moving on.

Best moments of this unbelievably hyped and crazed phenomenon that had the streets of Hollywood blocked off were:
Elliot and Mary J Blige bringing it on. She pretty much took over, but still. I got chills.
Toni Braxton trying to sing but barely uttering a sound.
That Clay Aiken kid and his spasm attack reaction to seeing his hero emerge from the huge screen. Priceless.
Clay Aiken looking like a woman.
Simon in a suit.
David Hasselhoff, CRYING, in a subconscious cross promotion for America's Got Talent. Oops, that's on a different network FOX.
Meatloaf and the.. handkerchief?
Paris, Lisa and Mandisa. The new earth, wind and fiyah. Bam.
That stripper girl who won a golden idol for Idols Gone Wild or whatever that was.
Kellie Pickler eating snails.

'till next time.... SOUL PATROL!! WOOO!!(Now repeat 100 times please)

Presenting The Class of 2006

And now, its time for a little investigative reporting. Do you find yourself wondering what young adults really think about these days as they get ready to step into the real world? Is it about career? Money? Or perhaps Love and Dating?
I love my friends for many reasons, but mostly because they inspire many of my blog entries. And now, I present to you... The graduating truth.

The Graduate: I feel like having one person to hook up with isn't enough. You need a variety. Like three.
Banana Girl: Three?
The Graduate: Yeah. That way you go about three days between each one. Its a good amount. You switch out each day. Three days, three guys. That way you don't get attached or sick of any of them.
Banana Girl: But seriously, who has time to manage 3 hook-up buddies on a weekly basis.
The Graduate: Me. Im graduating!

Something tells me the world may welcome the Class of 2006 with open arms...

**Upfronts News Flash**

Some scoops from the last few days in TV Land...

CW has ordered 13 more episodes of the refusing to die 7th Heaven.
What about Brian is coming back!
Veronica Mars is likely to get picked up... But mostly because all the other CW drama pilots sucked.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip starring Matthew Perry is the new NBC gem to watch for.
Callista Flockhart McBeal has a new show on ABC called Brothers and Sisters.
The OC is also returning... minus Marissa (move over Neutrogena, Taylor Townsend is takin' over!)
Invasion has drownded in the swamp.. And so has Freddie.


And Joey finally gets axed. Amen.

More to come...

WHAT?!?

I almost had a panic attack... But the good kind. The Office Season Finale may have just been one of the ultimate TV moments of this year.
And John Krasinski, can we maybe get stuck together in an elevator or something?
How much do we love May my fellow TV dorks... So so much.
Stay tuned for my thoughts of the upcoming Network Upfronts Presenations. Good times.

Currently listening to...

The new Weepies album "Say I Am You". Listen to it here.

AND - Don't think I forgot.

HAPPY CINCO DE DRINKO!!

And no, I did not come up with that.
All rights are reserved to Benitos and her Texan friends.
Here's to getting drunk with your token Mexican friends. Horray!!

And as for MySpace -

I failed to mention I have unwillingly been entered in the "Hottie of Minnestoa" contest. Wish. Me. Luck.

The Friendster-Philippines Conspiracy

If you are also a lucky member of Friendster like myself, then there is a good chance you have gotten a few friendly requests from fellow young adults in the Philippines. One has to wonder though, why is this the only foreign country that we get requests and emails from? Something smells fishy to me. I'd like to share the email I received below (keep in mind that I refrained from editing any grammar mistakes for your enjoyment):

hIhI, will like to KNow you...
Interested to know you after reading your Profile...
I am new in here and even though we are a little far
apart, I am very sincere and looking for a friend,
and long term relationship:) I would describemyself
as an ambitious, fun loving, energetic individual
who believes in living life to the fullest. A guy who
like mixing ard much thats y joinin this Friendster
hoping to know more friends & a fresh reLationship.
i can be pretty open sometimes, depending on the
situation, & am a good listener. Financially very
secure and lives life to the fullest. But if we share
the same interests, u could send me a message
anytime to know each other better!!
If you dun mind, can you call my mobile so we can
chat over the phone. I wait for your call soon, if
you prefer me to call you, you can drop your
numbeR to me...
YongJie
81074277

Thank GOD for my international calling plan.

In Memoriam.

Today Israel remembers 22,123 civilians and soldiers who lost their lives in wars and terror attacks. I dedicate this to the people I loved and miss, those who won't be able to have a blog, or read one, those who won't get to laugh or cry again, and experience the things that we take for granted almost every single day. May they rest in peace and know how much we miss them.

So, about Brian...

During last night's new episode of "What About Brian" I couldn't help but once again be reminded of Bill Maher's "Be More Cynical" Comedy Special. "The real problem with movies", says Maher, "is not violence. It's romance." Granted this is TV but stay with me here, I have a really good point. Maher continues to sacrastically poke at how unrealistic the common theatrical scenarios have become. "Guy meets girl. She HATES him. But he's gonna get her! Well, in real life that's called STALKING.

Which brings me back to last night's episode.

So say you're a guy with really soft hair and you like this girl. She really likes you too but the thing is, she met you in the bathroom right after you slept with her roommate, who also happens to have the same name as her (extremely hypothetical in my case). So she has sex with you but she's too nice to date you cause that's just like, not cool. So you walk the streets of L.A., pondering the meaning of life, because you know everyone just walks everywhere in L.A., especially at night and especially after they go shopping. Anyways, you randomly run into the girl. She looks flawless, just the way people look after a day of work and shopping. She is sweet and she puts quarters in everyone's meters because "Nobody likes to get a parking ticket". So you beg to call her. She says, "No, I'll call YOU." She smiles, turns around and walks away. You're smitten. She turns around again. Her hair is waving in the wind. She smiles again.

Gotta love escapism.

Gettin Jewy with it

Will Smith, aka the artist formerly known at The Fresh Prince, has found himself a new destiny. Bar Mitzvah Crasher! Yes, that's right. I don't even need to make any of this up. It's that good. And as the prince knows, when you crash, you crash gooood. So for example if you choose to crash with relatives, you crash in Bel Air, AND if and when you choose to crash a bar Mitzvah you crash it in Jerusalem. Because that's as good as it gets.

Oh and I should probably mention that (in a shocking turn of events) Jerusalem also happens to be the hometown of yours truly. As I said before, a little self-promotion never hurt anyone, right?

Mazel Tov!!

"The Real OC"

Help!! Where am I? Why is everyone screaming?! Why are the horses dancing and walking backwards?! How come everyone knows what to do like they have been here a million times before?? Who is Black and White? Why do I keep clapping at the wrong moments? Are we really wearing paper crowns? Am I an extra on a Burger King Commercial?? Is downtown Fullerton really the new hot spot? Seriously, where am I??

Oh that's right, I'm at a birthday party at Medieval Times, a place nestled off a thousand exits past my house. Just checking.

Disappointment of the week

I've always been a big TJ's fan. Inexpensive, organic and healthy food, just the way I like it. I've become an even bigger fan ever since the friendly TJ guys started giving me advice on life, love and myspace. But that all changed this week when I got food poisoning from their fresh cut pre-packaged cantaloupe. Granted, I should have stopped when I smelled something funny but two fresh cut pieces later I was losing all my lovin' for my TJ Boys. This better get me some free goat cheese.

Just Beat It.

As you can see from this posting and the one below it, scientists have recently discovered that not only will modeling turn you into an insect but it can actually also make you a more violent human being. Naomi Campbell has been charged with second-degree assault after allegedly bashing her housekeeper in the head with a phone in an altercation at her Park Avenue apartment. By the way, this is the same woman that almost got my friend "Jane" fired after hitting up the L.A. hot spots recommended naively to her and deciding to overstay her welcome and simply missing her thousand dollar flight. I'm a model, you know what I mean? And I do my little turn.

Girl please, spread yo' wings.

And just when I thought there weren't enough Omarosa's this TV Season, along comes Jade... A wannabe, cracked out, crazy, arrogant, bleached restaurant hostess on ANTM's Cycle 6 who best describes herself as a "Biracial butterfly". Yeah, OKAY.

And I'm a flowering falafel.

Sweet dreams and good night, don't let the biracial butterfly bite!

I'm A Bad Jew.

Look, even Madonna celebrated Purim (pictured here at the Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles). Apparently Miss Banana Girl was too busy looking for a cute green shirt to wear on St. Patty's Day. For those of you who don't know, Purim is like the Jewish Halloween. Educate yourself.

Seriously?

Ok yes. Maybe he is adorable. But seriously. Should Kevin Covais seriously be in American Idol's Top 12? After what has seemed like 50,000 episodes and about a million or so auditions is it not somewhat silly that Chicken Little is still in the running towards becoming America's Next (Top) Idol?
Bless his heart.